"A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step"

 

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." 

Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu 

Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

          Today I was speaking with a friend about motivation, road-blocks and walls. We are both musicians, and aspire to create. There is nothing like the feeling of cohesive music that just flows from your mind into your instrument and out into beautiful music. There is nothing like writing the perfect poem or story, or achieving your goals. But there are so many potential obstacles that can arise along the way. The thoughts of encountering these obstacles, or actually encountering them, is enough to stop most people's motivation dead in its tracks.

The same is true for coping with depression or anxiety. There are many walls and obstacles that can crop up - some may be physical, some may be emotional/mental. Sometimes the simplest task is overwhelming and the urge to shrink from it is strong. Getting out of bed some days can be very hard for some people. Facing a personal fear can be daunting. Finding the will inside to keep pressing forward, through the emotional fog and walls can be exhausting. Finding the motivation can sometimes seem impossible.

As people, we don't often give ourselves credit where it's due; we are our own hardest critics, our worst judges. It has been said before and it's true. But this mindset doesn't help to keep you motivated, and it definitely doesn't keep you feeling mentally well. We rarely look behind us to see where we have come, the challenges we have conquered, the goals we have achieved. We are constantly looking forward, berating ourselves for not being there yet, not being better yet, not being good enough.

When taking on a big battle like fighting depression and anxiety, or setting long-term goals, or starting a new routine or habit, people don't often acknowledge the little steps they take along the way in order to make it to the end goal. It's an all-or-nothing, black-and-white perspective that will leave them feeling defeated.

I didn't do all the tasks I had set out today. I'm a failure. 

I didn't run the whole 5km. I didn't succeed.

I didn't.... 

This list can go on.

But, chances are, you did do some of the tasks on your list. And chances are you at least put on your shoes, maybe took a few steps, maybe you ran half your 5k. Chances are, you did do something to help you achieve your goal. These are little steps.

They are the most important steps you will take.

Little steps are what set you in motion for sustaining habits; they are the power behind the inertia of routine. They will get you to where you are going.

Be happy with the little steps, as they are the biggest part of your journey.




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Other topics you may be interested in:

Overwhelmed? Carve a Staircase Out of a Wall!

Engine for Change - Motivation for self-relection and self-improvement.

Motivating and encouraging statements - Help yourself stay above the water!

Staying Motivated When Discouraged

The downward spiral: the fastest way down!

Ever have a train of thought, downward-spiral that goes something like this?

"I can't find my keys! I'm going to be late! If I'm late, the boss will be angry. If they're angry, they might not accept my report - if it doesn't get accepted, I'm going to get fired! If I get fired, I'll lose my house and my car! I'm going to end up homeless! It's all over, my life is done!"

That is an example of negative thought-associations... What starts as a single negative thought arising from a situation or comment quickly turns into a spiral of despair that's out of control and totally unreasonable!

The extreme feelings associated with the statements and beliefs that flow from a certain event are understandable: anyone who thinks this way truly believes the thoughts and the feelings correspond. They make sense.

People fighting anxiety and depression tend to have these types of thoughts and associations frequently, and they can be frightening or overwhelming and in some cases even lead to a panic attack. It's very easy to get hooked into following the associations your brain brings up - the "logical" series of events your anxious mind comes up with seems reasonable at the time.

The unfortunate outcome of these downward-spirals is that they can bring your mood down with them, or make a low mood even worse. So where did this pattern of negative thinking come from and how can you combat it?

If we do a quick analysis of the types of thoughts that flow from a potentially negative experience we’ll see what kinds of assumptions underlie the statements.

• If I misplace my keys, I am going to be late
• If I am late, I will enrage my boss
• If he/she is mad, they will fire me
• If I am fired, no one will hire me again!

If we do some prodding of the assumptions that are made in this thought-stream, we can point out some core beliefs: “I am air-headed.” “I am stupid and unreliable.” “I am unworthy.”

            The process of analyzing your automatic thoughts during a downward-spiral will help you to identify some of your personal core beliefs. (See 13 Beliefs to disbelieve).

Often, people might realize where this pattern of negative thinking arose in their life - maybe they picked it up from a parent who always stressed about really negative events and made "logical" connections to even worse possible events that may arise. Or perhaps your friends have influenced you over time. In any case, it's a behaviour that can be challenged and changed for the better.

1) Recognize the negative thoughts  as just negative thoughts. Thoughts are not reality. Remind yourself you can control your behaviour and you are not destined to fulfill every potential outcome your brain comes up with.

2) Ask yourself whether the thought is reasonable; that is, is this outcome likely to happen?

            ex: “My life will be over”
 

            Will your life really be over, or is it just going to be a little more complicated? Once you take things into perspective, from a more rational point of view, you’ll see that many of the thoughts in the downward spiral are irrational thoughts that come from ingrained beliefs.

3) Is this a negative bias against yourself?

            ex: “I always mess things up; I’m going to be a failure forever”

            This can’t possibly be true. Not one person in the world can mess everything up. In order to face this negative thought pattern-style you’re going to have to practice a little. In the moment, realize that you are applying a negative bias to yourself and the thought is not necessarily true. This will help dispel some of the anxiousness of the thought. In order to change your automatic negative bias you will have to practice writing in your journal.

Try taking a step back next time you end up overwhelmed over a seemingly trivial event or comment and identify the assumptions you might be making (write in your journal to keep track of how your thoughts change throughout the days and weeks). It’ll help you to be more aware of automatic thoughts.

                                                               Conquer on!

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Staying Motivated When Discouraged. 5 Ways to Stay on Track!

How can you stay motivated when you feel discouraged, the cloud-cover gets a little thicker and your goals seem so distant?
I'd like to share with you a couple of ideas I came up with today!


1) WORKOUT!
I know how awesome I usually feel after a hard run or heavy weights. I feel renewed and rejuvenated and ready to take on the world! I actually pulled off a decent workout at lunchtime today. The lunch workout gave me an energy boost and a sense of accomplishment which powered me through the rest of my day!
If you're in an office-setting, this is a good way to get the blood back into your legs after long hours at the computer. Just run up and down the steps a few times, or if weather permits - take a good walk. If you're really ambitious and your office space provides changerooms or showers: take a good run. If you get the typical 1hr lunch, do a 30-45 minute run and leave just enough time to clean up and smell fresh.
Tip: eat your lunch slowly at your desk after your workout to avoid pigging out before or after, which can make you feel sick.
If your boss or company doesn't allow food at your desk, just do a smaller run and leave enough time to have a decent-sized snack. You can always do exercises in your chair at work, as well.
Also, if you find you are so discouraged that you can't motivate yourself to work out, try taking a short walk around your block, or just walk the stairs in your house a few times. Everything counts. 

       Maybe your environment is uninspiring!

2) CHANGE THINGS AROUND A BIT - I find tidying up and re-organizing my workspace is sort of zen-like, plus it allows you to change the scenery. Once you get moving physically, the things on your desk, that is, it is likely to transfer over mentally as well and get that engine started!
Tip: Put on some uplifting and mood-boosting music. You never know, you might even start dancing :)
If it's de-motivating to look at the clutter of your desk and wonder where your mouse went, then start small. Grab one pile off the desk (a manageable size) and take it to another room to sort it. This will keep your mind off the large desk-problem and on the small, easy-to-fix pile in your lap. Once you're done and you feel like you can do more, keep going with small piles. If one is enough, then today, you have done one pile! :) That's a great step in the right direction.

3) CHUNK BIG PROJECTS INTO SMALLER, MANAGEABLE PIECES
A lot of the time, people get overwhelmed when thinking about the magnitude of the tasks they need to complete and so continue putting them off until too late (you know, missing deadlines or having to beg for extensions!). So, instead of thinking of the whole picture, break it down into smaller sized projects.
For example, if you have a large paper to write, focus first on what your topic will be. Then think of a few points you would like to make regarding that topic and find resources for those. Then write your thesis statement and supporting points together and start jotting little notes down. It's like a downward brain-storm.
Writing a list out is usually a great way to facilitate the chunking-process as well because it makes it visual.
I find it very hard to concentrate or figure things out if they are floating around in my head. I need a solid piece of paper that I can write all over and then figure out what to do from there.
Tip: Brainstorm on paper, and find the best way from there.  It'll ease the stress on your mind!
 Constantly being the "procrastinator" wears on you as well, and sets your mind up for thinking negatively about yourself (self-talk like "oh I never get anything done on time, I'm so lazy"). That doesn't motivate very well does it.

4) LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS; WHEN GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH
I don't mean permanently, but as our motivation drops, so too does our ability-level. It's extremely discouraging and de-motivating to attempt doing things you used to be able to do and continually not reaching that same level of achievement. Instead of aiming for perfection, just do what qualifies as "good enough".It will ensure the project or goal is completed, and satisfactorily, without stressing you out that you aren't as good as you were.
You'll get back to your old-self (or find a new pinnacle of success for your new self!) in time. For now, or today, good enough really is good enough.

5) WRITE DOWN THREE THINGS YOU ACHIEVED OR ACCOMPLISHED THAT DAY AND ONE THING YOU LEARNED.

Whether these relate to a specific project or goal (new job, exercise goals, homework goals, etc.), or whether they are random achievements throughout the day, it is continually motivating to see progress. Additionally, it can help us keep on track, knowing that we have to account for some achievements at the end of the day!

Tip: Do this during your wind-down time at night in your journal and read back over it every few days. You will have things to feel proud of and motivated by. They are all successes, and they are all yours and they are leading to a great success. Own them all.


                                                    Conquer-on!


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Weekly Challenge 1 - Week of December 18 - 24

Welcome all Conquerors to the very first Conqueror's Weekly Challenge!

I am intending on coming up with a challenge for everyone to undergo every week as we continue our journey of personal development.
This week, I am proposing that everyone of us resists the urge to complain or speak negatively about things in our life. For one week. That's only 7 days.
The power of our minds is incredible and most people are unaware of how quickly one comment about a negative event or situation can turn into a full-blown rage-fest about the entire state of the world. This is a cognitive approach to becoming your best you! Your mind, your friends and your family will thank you when you resist those little nuggets of negativity that come flittering into your thought-stream.

I have challenged myself with this one before, and my results were incredible. I still had the thoughts, of course, but I didn't let them have the room in my mind that they wanted. I acknowledged their presence, but didn't explore them further.

So when you find yourself with the negative thought(s) or comment(s), take a moment, acknowledge that you are having one, but ignore it and do not let it materialize, that is, do not speak it aloud.
Part of the reality of anxiety is that the feelings and thoughts one experiences internally are manifesting in subsequent behaviour. If one can stop the cycle of destructive thoughts and feelings at the behavioural-level, there is only one recourse - the thoughts and feelings must change to accomodate the new behaviour.

This is only a small step in the direction of our best success, but it's a great first weekly challenge!


You got this one Conquerors!

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