Architect of Your Own Fortune

 (PHOTO: Me on part of the Drakensburg Mountains in South Africa)

   

Everyone is the architect of their own fortune. 

This quote (adapted to fit today's language styles) has been credited to various people, but Appius Claudius Caecus (340 BC – 273 BC) said it first in a speech addressed to Cineas, declaring that Rome would never surrender.

 How does that apply to you, here in the 21st century? There is deep wisdom in the phrase. It implies that everyone has the power to direct their own lives; create the fortune that makes them happiest. 

 You hold the key to unlocking your ultimate life. 

           You also hold the key to beating depression, anxiety or whatever you may be fighting. It's not easy to have your ultimate life, or reach your full potential. It's difficult. Really difficult. Most things worth anything are very hard to get, or achieve. That is part of what makes them so alluring, and in the end, so rewarding. Would you feel as proud if you achieved something without even trying? No (well maybe you would, but I'm guessing no), you'd feel bored. Part of achieving your goals and reaching your pinnacle is the road along the way. The obstacles you overcome help you grow and gain strength (mentally, physically and spiritually). 

           Though the path you desire to carve through life may seem daunting, and reaching your goals impossible, it doesn't have to be so. Especially when you remember that you have the power in yourself, and you can control your choices. Control is generally an illusion. We can't control the weather, or nature. But we can control our reactions to events and our choices in life. 

            In following our paths we will come across obstacles, they are an inevitable part of life. We will fall down. Nothing is perfect. Life is not perfect. Life is not fair. There is only one way past these obstacles: "adapt and overcome"; to borrow a phrase used so often by Bear Grylls (survivalist, writer and producer). 

            Though his shows are generally over-the-top, somewhat set-up and usually involve an inordinate amount of creature-killing, his expression is exactly what so many of us need to hear. And it's not just applicable to surviving nights out in the flat tundra of the arctic. 

           To adapt and overcome applies to so many facets of life. Overcoming any obstacle or challenge naturally involves accepting the situation and gradually re-adjusting our route. We can choose to get stuck behind the obstacle and sit there, waiting. But the obstacle will go nowhere and neither will we. Only when we choose to be the Architect of Our Own Fortune and press forward, adapting to our situations and overcoming them gradually with the help of friends, family and other social networks will we move forward on our journeys to health, happiness and success.

Please take a few moments to listen to this very motivating song by a progressive metal band from Sweden:
Circus Maximus - Architect of Fortune

 If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to Conquer The Clouds

Other topics you may be interested in: 

 What motivates you?

Engine for Change - Motivation for self-relection and self-improvement. 

Staying Motivated when Discouraged

Give yourself a break! 10 signs it's time to put your feet up!

Photo credit to Conquer The Clouds (Trees of the Cloud Forest, Oaxaca, Mexico)

Sometimes you don't know when it's time to stop and relax. Take a small break to recharge. You all have an inner feeling about when things are too much, or overwhelming, but some of you just ignore these feelings and press on. The problem with forcing yourselves to go on even though you feel your emotional resolve weakening is that it makes you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Letting yourselves take a break from your daily routines, a challenging project or task is healthy and will let you return with more vigor afterwards.

Here are 10 signs you may be exhibiting that signal it's time for a break (even just a little one). 
 
1. You're drawing blanks.

You can't seem to think straight, everything seems like a blur and you're frustrated. You have too many things on the go, and piling more on or pushing forward might be detrimental to your end goals. This is a definite sign you are overwhelmed and nearing a breaking point.

2. You're not scheduling sleep into your life. 

Cliché but, even Rome wasn't built in a day. You need to sleep in order to have energy to do the things you want. Sleep is the most basic restorative state you can enter. Denying yourself enough time to sleep and recharge your body is setting you up to fail as your energy wanes. If you aren't getting enough sleep because of insomnia then it could be a sign that you are overworking yourself.

3. Friends are something other people have.

I posted a while back about the power of friends as a buffer for low moods. These friends won't help you stay out of the gutter if you don't make time to see them. It's not a threat, just a reality. This is a sign that your life is out of balance and you need a break to re-connect with the people you care about. Even a quick coffee or lunch can make a big difference in your mood and energy levels.

4. You aren't taking the time to eat or nourish yourself.

If most of the crumbs from your daily meals are landing in places like your computer keyboard or between your car seats, or you find you don't even have time to eat, then you know it's time to slow down. Savouring a healthy meal and taking the time to appreciate the flavours goes a long way to preventing burnout. I'm not saying you should sit at the table, then proceed to shovel food into your mouths and then run off again, but actually taking thoughtful bites of each food and being present in the moment.

5.  You're not scheduling FUN into your life.

This one is a hard one to swallow... FUN is a nasty three-lettered word for overachievers and work-aholics. The very thought of spending time doing something enjoyable can feel scary to some who aren't used to taking a step back, taking a few deep-breaths and enjoying life. But if your life has gotten to the point where fun is being omitted on a regular basis, there is going to be a problem. This also goes for people suffering depression. In depression, the "fun-button" gets worn out and doesn't work anymore, things are really bleak and negative. But fun won't happen if you don't schedule something "fun" into your life. You may not have fun, but the trick is to just get into the habit of scheduling enjoyable activities in your life. Eventually you will start to feel a semblance of pleasure, and then start looking forward to those activities.

6. You aren't making time for exercise and fresh-air.

 Your schedule is so packed you go from one place to the next until you come home exhausted, fall into bed, all without ever going outside for a walk or a run or whatever sports you might enjoy. Combine this with number 4 and you have a recipe for disaster. We are animals and we need to move. Getting outside for even just a short brisk walk is enough to reap the benefits of our naturally-occurring feel-good chemicals: endorphins!

 7. Your body is starting to fall apart.

Your muscles are tense and painful, you're getting headaches frequently, or your stomach is constantly in knots. These are real physical signs that you're pushing too hard and need to slow down. If your days are plagued with physical ailments that are likely resulting from your hectic lifestyle, you definitely need a break it may be time to speak with your doctor about the effect of your stress on your body.

8. Your friends are telling you you're too busy.

Our friends and family often see situations more objectively than we do. If you are noticing that friends and family are saying things like "we never see you anymore" or "you're always too busy", then it's likely they're expressing true concern. Take note of their comments and re-assess your priorities.

9. You miss bill payments.

Your home office (or your kitchen counter!) is starting to look like a paper-version of Jenga... only with much more at stake than just a messy floor. Your bills are piling up and you haven't made time to sit down with them, crunch the numbers and get your finances in line. This is a costly side-effect of being too busy and not taking the time for all our obligations. It's also likely that your feelings of being overwhelmed make it hard to think about starting this task as well.

10. You're wishing for a snow-day.

The alarm goes off and the last thing you want to do is leave the bed. It could be the middle of July, but you're lying there wishing for a snow-day. Your brain is overwhelmed, you're dreaming of staying home, cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie, or clean your bathroom and have a tea. Whatever it is that you're dreaming of, it's a sign you need to take that well-deserved break.

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to Conquer The Clouds



Other topics you may be interested in:

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Engine for Change - Motivation for self-relection and self-improvement.

Motivating and encouraging statements - Help yourself stay above the water!

Staying Motivated When Depressed; 5 Ways to Fight the Sludge of Depression/Anxiety!

 

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) - Do you have it? What can you do about it?

The days get shorter, you seek out your fuzzy pyjamas, and break out the winter coats. It sounds like a great prelude to a 'winter wonderland' but for some people (approximately 1-10% of the North American population) the darker winter months can spell emotional disaster. (Note: it is also possible to have Seasonal Affective Disorder during summer).

People who are affected by SAD experience a general drop in mood (depression), a tendency to want to sleep more, eat more and have low energy. (SAD during the summer can include periods of exacerbated anxiety).

The symptoms of SAD mimic those of depression.

There are a few treatments available including light therapy, medication (typical anti-depressants), and

cognitive-behavioural therapy.

Light therapy uses a lightbox or set of LED lights in a panel that emits far more lumens than normal room lighting (2,500-10,000 lux compared to 400-600 lumens). A bright, sunny day is around 5,000-7,000 lumens.
There is evidence to suggest that the alterations of melatonin* secretion affected by the changing photoperiod (the time and amount of light in a day) affects the seasonal mood cycles of SAD. Light therapy has a positive effect on SAD by altering the secretion of melatonin, modifying the circadian-rhythm as well as sleep patterns. The most effective time of day seems to be early morning just after awakening. But your individual "dosing" schedule may differ (in the evening, for example) depending on your body's reaction to the light therapy.

If medication is something that works for you, speak with your doctor. Ask whether herbal alternatives like St. John's Wort are suitable if you are interested in alternatives (be careful when selecting herbal remedies as the strength of each "batch" is variable - it really depends on the health and harvest of the plants). And if you are interested in typical pharmaceutical treatments for depression/anxiety, let you doctor know.

Additionally, there are many ways to integrate cognitive-behavioural therapy into your life, and speaking with your doctor to ask about local programs or therapists they can recommend is a good first step. Always make sure the person you are considering as your counselor/therapist is certified (either a psychologist, psychiatrist, certified counselor, etc.). Some of these are *not* covered by insurance, so make sure with your insurance company what kind of coverage you have.

And then get back to baking those Christmas cookies!


Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, please subscribe to Conquer The Clouds



Other topics you might be interested in: 

Vitamin D and Mental Health

Anxiety - What's it all about anyways?

Top 10 Depression Symptoms

The Nervous System


*Melatonin is a hormone in the brain that signals it’s time to sleep. Read more about sleep and anxiety here.

Friends and Family: The Built-in Buffer

Today I will write about the power of friendship and the poison of isolation and how the balance between the two can make or break your mental health.
When someone is feeling down or out of sorts, they tend to develop an affinity for being alone. Unfortunately this is usually the opposite of what they should be trying to do!

It's almost as though they think it will get better if they just wait it out, stay in bed longer, sleep more, sleep-it-off, draw the blinds, and shut out the world... ignore reality.

But the world won't wait and it won't really ever go away. So you have to catch yourselves and pull yourselves out (in very serious situations medication may sometimes be needed but you must consult with your physician).

It can be really hard to find the motivation to do anything let alone get out of bed sometimes. And if you find yourself constantly stretched thin and weary, then perhaps you need to do some self-reflection. This is easiest when writing in your journal.

It helps you to connect with yourself, regain perspective, expose thoughts and desires or fears of recent (or past) events in your life that may be affecting you now... It's a great place to work through confusing life situations or help you with major decisions. (It's even really fun just to doodle sometimes).

Even though the most enticing thing could be to hole up in the basement and vegetate, maybe the better thing to do is pick up your phone and call your friends. Try to organize a small (or large!) social gathering. If you find that you have few or no friends, maybe it's time to join a club or a community center and expand on your interests. Staff at local recreation centers are usually pretty knowledgeable about what is happening in the community. You could even check your local newspapers, or see if the city website has anything going on.

It is hard to make friends, but when you have them, they are an important buffer for protecting your mental health. Family is also very important. All the positive social interactions you experience serve to help maintain a good state of mental health. Facebook has been taking place of real-life interactions and while in some cases this is a good stand-in (long-distance friend/relation-ships, while traveling, etc.), nothing really beats a face-to-face conversation.

 With that, I will leave you with a few small things to help you get motivated and start turning the downward spiral around:

- Try to make time for friends and family
- Join clubs/develop interests and skills
- Meet people (if you are shy, or have social anxiety, I will address these topics at a later date!)
- Write in your journals to self-reflect and re-connect with yourself; get grounded.
 

Conquer on!



 If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to Conquer The Clouds
 




Other topics you may be interested in:
An engine for change... motivation for self-reflection and self-improvement 

Empowering yourself quickly: while coping with anxiety, job-searching or other life challenges. 

Breathing

Weekly Challenge 3 - Week of January 1 – 7

Weekly Challenge 3 - Week of January 1 – 7

Happy New Year and welcome to 2012!

Today is the start of the third Conqueror's Weekly Challenge! I hope you enjoyed last week’s challenge! If you have just started reading, see this page to see what you have been missing out on!

Now that I have used up my daily allotment of exclamation points (!) let’s discuss the challenge this week.

In your new wellness project or on a piece of paper (or even on your bathroom or hallway mirror!) write down 10 things that you enjoy doing or used to enjoy doing. They can be as simple as watching a movie, or jogging/walking with your dog; or they can include traveling and writing books. After thinking about these positive things I want you to commit to doing at least one of them this week. Choose one that you haven’t been able to incorporate into your life for a while, it will make it more rewarding. If you are feeling up to it, incorporate 2 or more of your activities or things on your list into your life this week. It might even be fun if you and your spouse or friend came up with lists of things to do together that you haven’t done in a while, and do them together (like going for dinner, or walks together).

One of the most difficult things about coping with anxiety and depression is that it robs you of your ability to see the pleasurable things in life, or enjoy the fun things that you do or used to do. When negative thinking and associations colour your perspective, it’s no wonder that even gathering the motivation to do something fun is hard.

The challenge this week is to turn the wheel the other way, out of the negative patterns of thinking, and force yourselves (doesn’t sound very fun...) to at least do things that used to be enjoyable.

What generally tends to occur when someone is experiencing heightened levels of anxiety, or a low pit of despair and depression is that they recoil into themselves and shut out the world. It might be hard for someone who is introverted to know when they are withdrawing from their passion because they tend to enjoy solitude over the company of others, however, if you are feeling hopeless and lonely when you would usually feel enlivened and energetic in your own company, you might be sliding down into a depression trough (like the waves of an ocean).

 Recovery from depression and anxiety is hard work. There is no "cure" because it's not an illness with one list of symptomology. It's a large body-system reaction to prolonged stress and internal and external cues and events. Everyone's symptoms are different but there are some similar experiences. And you can reach the point where you can enjoy life and your successes. Many people have trouble with depression and anxiety at some point in their life; knowing how to cope with it is what makes the difference between someone who suffers and someone who conquers. I am not trying to say someone who has depression or anxiety is lesser than someone who doesn’t - not at all! What I am saying is that the perspective of someone who is in the throes of anxiety/depression is very different from someone who isn’t.

The challenge this week will help you to modify your behaviour to break you out of your shell and get out into the world a bit more. It may be hard at first, but if you take it slow and take small steps at a time, it will be a manageable and rewarding experience. Having fun when you feel awful is not going to be easy, so don't feel hard on yourself if you aren't laughing and giddy when doing the things you used to enjoy doing. The key here is just to get back into the swing of doing enjoyable hobbies and activities. You might find you feel more refreshed afterward. Also, this challenge gives you the opportunity to connect with others in a meaningful way. Perhaps you enjoy or used to enjoy speaking with your friends and family over the phone or on Skype. Maybe you can go for a coffee or walk and talk about the positive things in your life. It is important to stay connected.

If going out and doing one of the ten things on your list is too difficult at this point, drop it down a notch and work at compiling a list of happy and inspiring things - 10 or as many as you can think of. The action alone of thinking about happy things will be positive and inspiring. Eventually you can work your way up to completing one of the ten (or more) on your list.

                                                             Conquer on!

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to Conquer The Clouds